As a Former NICU Nurse This is Where It Needs to Stop!

I wasn't broken. The system was

I handed over my body. Then I took it back.

This is where it needs to stop.

As a former NICU nurse, I thought I was doing all the right things when I became pregnant with my first.

Birth is dangerous. Thank goodness for the medical system. Trust the experts - they know best.

I handed over responsibility of my body. Consented to every test, every appointment, even the stretch n sweep - that would just feel like "pressure" - as tears streamed down my face and I tried to cover up the pain as I put on a brave face.

What just just happened? I continued on. They know best. Trust the experts.

The stretch n sweep "worked" as my water trickled down my leg. To the hospital we went, where it’s safest.

Fetal monitor. IV antibiotics I was GBS positive, limited time before an infection could set in (I was told), things weren't progressing on their own, pitocin it is, can't eat (I'm starving), can't bear the mechanical contractions, epidural - I'm numb just on one side. Can't move. They're telling me when to push. How to push. Baby is placed on my chest "oh you're here!"

Postpartum was terrible. Breastfeeding is horrendous. Lack of bonding and connection. What is wrong with me? Am I not meant to be a mother? Am I missing something in me? Why does it seem so much easier for everyone else? Joy? Ecstatic? Elated? What was wrong with me? Why don’t I feel that?

It wouldn't be until years down the road I'd come to learn it was all connected and absolutely nothing was wrong with me.

I wasn't broken. The system was.

This is when I said enough.

No longer would I make decisions in fear.
No longer would I hand over my body or my baby. No longer would I just follow the rules.

This is when I began to reclaim my power.

My trust.
My voice.
My intuition.

And in doing so I reclaimed motherhood and my children.

I broke the cycle so they won't have to.
It began with me, so they would know the path.

This is why we gather.
This is why we come together.
This is why we get in the room.

Because we deserve better and so do our children.

We are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Reclaiming Birth.
Reclaiming everything.

September 10-12 Caledon, Ontario

This room isn't for everyone.
But maybe it's for you.

Reclaiming Birth Gathering
September 10-12
Caledon, Ontario

www.reclaimingbirthconference.com

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